Marca - Make Your Mother Proud

Make Your Mother Proud

Behind the kind eyes and the boo-boo kisses and the protective embrace of your mother lies a selfish prerogative that was established in the days when our kind first discovered fire.

The reason girls want children is twofold. Yes your mother was genetically programmed to continue the noble act of passing forth the strongest genes and to create a great species. Dignified. However, there is also a more selfish reason for her wanting progeny to take care of her in old age. Foresight.

Your mother wants you to be an “alpha male.” It is in her best interest. My predominantly male dissenters will decry me. They will shout with outrage. They will snarl with contempt as they attempt to slice through the veil of verity that hangs before them. Their arms will flail since the swords required to pierce through are heavier than the poorly made ceramic mugs that are their dumbbells.

These boys (and the girls who have been blinded by lies) will sulk and seethe refusing to believe the true definition of a Mama’s boy: one that is good with girls who stands above the mediocrity.

It has come to my attention that many who read the LIFESTYLE find me revolting for the simple fact that I attempt to over-simplify the world before us. Occam’s Razor.

They believe that the title of alpha-male is a social construct used to bring despair and inequality into the world. I ask them to turn to the animal kingdom where males fight for dominance and female attention. We have not outgrown our animalistic impulses: see survivors of natural disasters. Lifing.

These same critics of this worldview harp that I am misogynistic, sexist, perhapse even unattractive because I separate males and females instead of binding them under the false prophet of “equality of ability.” I turn their attention to the beauty of childbirth. I am sure that these male detractors can easily and truly empathize with the pain associated with the noble gift.

It is these peons that lack respect for the very natural instincts that have allowed our species to survive. Naiveté. It is only through my immersion in Behavioral Biology that I first had my eyes opened to our mother’s greatest hope for her male child: alphadom.

Let us think in the simplest terms, survival. A male that was good with females was able to pass on his genes through a larger delivery system. Harem-style Jujitsu. In order to have access to the most females the male had to have resources as well as be desirable. He needed confidence to fight the dangers of the world as well as be a leader of men in hunting expeditions.

The same traits girls find desirable today were found desirable in yester-year. Progress. The strongest genes are the most desirable and they happen to be the ones that crafted alpha-males. Remember it was not all physical based as proven by the smart guys who figured out how to entice girls had their brainpower passed on. Balance

Nerds rejoice, you exist due to the same factors that allowed brawn to survive. Use it instead of masturbating to tentacle porn.

We discovered why your mother wants you to be good with girls, to pass on the genes her ancestors worked hard to cull, but why does she want to you be at the top of your game. It can not be because she only wants what is best for her little boy. No. She wants you to provide for her.

In the olden days life was tenuous and even to this day girls live longer. Survival in our modern world is harder than it previously was. In the days of yore survival was a warm cave and food. Now there are bills to pay. Husbands die out. Sons live on.

Your mother wants her son to have a lifestyle from which will also allow her to live off. Unless your father and mother’s combined assets were large, you will need to support your parents later on if you are a true alpha-dog and not an asshole. You will have your own expenses with most of your income going into travel and an envy-inspiring lifestyle.

You’ll need extra paper to take care of your mother.

Yes. Your mother worked tirelessly in the hopes that you will be able to make her proud. She wants to brag to her friends about the success that is you. She wants to know that you can pass on her legacy whenever you truly wish.

Girls are competitive.

Now you may ask yourself why mothers coddle their children from the dangers of the world. Why did your mother tell you lies and misdirect you in how you should entice girls. Why she told you that the right girl will like you for the real you.

She was testing you. I too once believed the words my mother told me. Thankfully I quickly learned and by Middle School had sharpened my people-watching skills while learning in the wild. I would spend the next few years tirelessly perfecting my craft. Discovering to do the opposite of what my mother told me and witnessing success.

Today I can see the proud gaze my mother places upon me when another girl at the grocery store allows her eyes to linger upon me or when I flirt in front of her.

She knows that I passed the test she set before me and that the future of the world is secure from her end.

Dear male readers. Girls throw challenges your way. It never stops.

I see it when my mother does it to my father.

I see it when girls I am friends with throw them my way and we are not even involved.

You will constantly be tested in your alphaness by the girls you encounter. Fact of Life.

You must conquer these examinations. Your mother wants to put your A (A for Alpha-dog) on the refrigerator so that her friends can look at what their sons could have been.

Don’t let your mother down. She is less forgiving than the world.

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