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Everyone wants to have a great first date. He finally asked! You’ve decided on your 5 dealbreaker determiners, actually blew your hair out and picked a cute top with just enough sexy factor… but you may have forgotten a few essentials…

1. Gratitude. Yes, its the top of the list for a reason. Be grateful for the opportunity to get to know someone just a little bit better and perhaps learn about yourself in the process. Even if the date doesn’t take off into the land of happily ever after, THANK HIM for his time. Did he grab the check? THANK HIM for his generosity. Open doors? Thank him for his chivalry. I’ve heard more guys say things like… “She just seemed to expect…” or “She didn’t even say thank you when I…” So, I repeat. Say thank you. Please.
2. Good attitude. This one is all you. If you go into the date thinking all men are dogs and this one is likely to be one too. Well, guess what? He either will be a dog or he will sense that you think he is one and act accordingly or you’ll misread a genuinely nice guy as a dog in disguise. Only you can change your attitude and if you’ve got a good one, you’ll have a good time whether it works out or not.
3. Honesty. Come in being honest. Be honest. And continue to be honest. If you are on-line dating — honest pictures, honest profile, etc. Give the guy a chance to like you for who you are and not who you want to be. If you don’t feel it and he does, be honest. Don’t just avoid his calls. Pick up and be kind but truthful. He’ll thank you for letting him know it wasn’t a match and you’ll be freed from having to scan all incoming calls for who to avoid.
4. Ask genuine questions and be interested in your date. Let’s face it. Sometimes we ladies have the tendency to come to a date with an agenda. Suss out marriage potential. It might seem counter-intuitive, but I’m going to encourage you to leave the pre-determined questions at home and just let the conversation unfold without your agenda driving it. Stop interviewing and start relating. Look for what is interesting about the person sitting across the table from you. If you are having trouble making this date worth your time, play a game with yourself. When you find ONE genuine and interesting thing out about him, THEN you can make your excuses. You might be surprised to find that that one thing keeps you coming back to learn more.
5. When you have an open and non-judgmental attitude inside, it comes across to your date as well. Yes, you know your dealbreakers inside and out. That doesn’t mean that if he embodies your ultimate dealbreaker, it gives you licence to be rude. This is another human being sitting across from you and you never know, he could be your BFF’s ultimate guy. Give him a chance to shine.
6. Self Esteem. I know it can be easy to focus on what you did wrong or that you think you look fat, but the old adage about people seeing and treating us like we allow them to really holds true in this area. Take two girls. One is a perfect weight and totally rocks the abs, but has insecurity issues and thinks she needs to lose more weight. And it shows… she compliment fishes, comments on food selection, constantly mentions her marathon times, etc. The other girl is a good 20 pounds overweight but rocks those curves like a Botticelli painting. She eats healthily and enjoys her food, seems totally comfortable in her own skin and happily agrees to a second date on the flag football field. Guess which one the guy is going to be more attracted to? Yup, Botticelli girl (unless he’s got some serious insecurity issues about arm candy.) The lesson here — love and work what you got. If you are actively trying to change something — think about the progress you have made instead of how far you think you have to go.
7. Dress for the occasion. I know, I know. You really rock that skin-tight micro dress that you wear out for clubbing. But this is a date not a club event. Scale back on the tight and shiny and aim for something a bit more middle ground. Sexy is great, but at times, less is definitely more. This goes for the t-shirt and jeans girls too. If you are going somewhere casual, great! Rock those ripped jeans, baseball cap and braids, but if he is taking you somewhere a bit more upscale… scale up your dress code to suit the occasion.
8. Manners. The guys got this one as well. Be NICE to the waitstaff, polite to the valet, etc. I’ve heard MANY guys comment on things like “Well, she just yelled at her dog all the time and I couldn’t imagine living like that.” or “She was rude to the waiter and treated him as ‘less than’ and I could totally see her turning that scorn on me if I made a mistake.”
9. Don’t be afraid to say no. Only an unhealthy guy will hear “no” as a dealbreaker. You don’t want to kiss him on the first date, say no. You don’t feel comfortable going back to his place after dinner, say no. Be nice. Be firm. But be your own best friend and say no when you’ve got a gut check on something. Date rape survivors are known for saying that they ignored something in their gut that told them to end the date or not go somewhere alone with him. Listen to your gut and be ok with it if a guy walks away because of it.
10. Have fun!