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Inside the Overwhelmed Mind of Women on Dating Sites
Why Girls On Dating Websites Don't Know How To Have A Conversation
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I'm not a girl (yet), but I think I understand why girls act the way they do on dating websites. Before I get to why they act the way they do, you probably want to know what I'm referring to.
From a guy's perspective, every female on the site is clueless about holding a conversation. If they do reply to your message (and that's a big "if"), they show very little signs of interest. They rarely ask you any questions back, they rarely write elaborate answers to your questions, and they rarely answer all of your questions if you ask more than two. Once you send messages back and forth a few times, communication often ends abruptly and inexplicably.
At first this was really confusing to me but I think I've figured out how to put myself in their shoes. It's really simple, actually. Just ask yourself this question:
How would you act if you received 10 new messages every day?
At first, you'd reply to the messages, but, eventually, that would get super tedious. Why? Because 95% of them would be retards talking about crap that was a super turn off to you, not interesting or too short to be a conversation starter.
If you didn't login for a couple of days, there's like 20 new messages to reply to. At that point, it's more of a chore than it is fun and naturally you totally half-ass the replies you give, if any. There are probably some you meant to reply to, but 10 messages later, you'd completely forget about them.
Why would you put any effort into it anyway? You'll get 10 new messages tomorrow even if you give the shittiest replies today. In fact, it's the smartest move you could make. Given the choice, wouldn't you rather hang out with a person that can start a great conversation from nothing? Also, you don't want to spend all night on a dating website do you? If you write a detailed message to everyone that shows potential, you won't have much time for anything else.
So, what do you do? If someone shows potential, you reply with a crappy message. If they consistently reply to your crap in a way that stands out from the rest, they might be a keeper. But, until then, they're just 1 in 10.
Girls are busy. What does it mean?
Besides giving you insight into the female experience, how do you use this information?
- Well, hopefully, you'll cut the girls a little slack since you can see how busy they are.
- Don't take any of this personally. You may think you had a great conversation with someone last night, but by the time you talk to her again, she could have 10 more great conversations and will need to be reminded.
- Don't complain to her. It's not going to win her over. She has 10 other dudes lined up to chat with her. Why would she choose the whiny/jaded one?
- It's OK to message her again if she doesn't reply. It could have been lost in the mail. That said, if she doesn't reply after two to three times, your time could be better spent on someone else.
- You've gotta stand out from the rest on every interaction. If your gut tells you that your message is a little boring, don't send it. You might come up with a much better message in the shower tomorrow.